=======================================

COBOL programs are an exercise in
 Artificial Inelegance.

A zygote is a gamete's way of producing
 more gametes.

Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics
 is not fully human.

Clones are people two.

Microwaves frizz your heir.

Cloning is the sincerest form of
 flattery.

Small programs are for small minds.

All programmers want arrays!

I BM.  You BM.  We all BM for IBM!

Cobol programmers are down in the
 dumps.

Interchangeable parts won't.

A conclusion is simply the place where
 you got tired of thinking.

The problem with any unwritten law is
 that you don't know where to go to
  erase it.

Counting in octal is just like counting
 in decimal, if you don't use your
  thumbs.

Counting in binary is just like
 counting in decimal, if you are all
  thumbs.

We don't really understand it, so we'll
 give it to the programmers.

Confess is good for the soul, but bad
 for your career.

The concept seems to be clear by now.
 It has been defined several times by
  example of what it is not.

APL is a write only language:
 You can write programs in it; but
  try and read them!

Don't sweat it - it's only ones and
 zeros.

If this is timesharing, give me my
 share right now.

He who uses bad language is an ignorant
 schmuck.

The best things in life are for a fee.

There is no such thing as a "Fail Safe"
 design.

Engineers do it precisely. Technicians
 do it a lot.

Computer Engineers do it bit by bit.

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you
 to fill out the necessary form.

Remember, the paper is always
 strongest at the perforations.

There are two kinds of people in this
 world:
  Those that want to BE something,
   and those that want to DO something.
    (There is less competition in the
      second category).

Computer actors will never be great;
 they only get bit parts!

Whom computers would destroy,
 they must first drive insane.

=======================================